God can be our everything...right?

It’s been about 2 weeks since my last post. I’ve been enjoying time visiting with my parents who spent 10 days on-island with me. It was so nice to see them and show them a bit of the Hawaiian life. And Tuesday night I finally heard from my husband, after receiving no contact from him for almost 4 weeks. That was tough, and as I thought about why it was so hard, I made an interesting discovery.
 If you’ve known my very long, you may know that I have often prided myself on being strong, independent, assertive, and decidedly not-needy. In many situations, these qualities (obviously not the pride part), have been very helpful. But in the midst of other circumstances they have proven to be a mask for other emotions or qualities and, at times, even detrimental to my life.

For example, in my relationship with my husband I’ve consistently been emotionally “strong” and prior to his deployment he mentioned several times that he was grateful I was such a “strong woman”; he knew he wouldn’t have to worry that I would totally fall apart. But if you could have seen me in those weeks before you left, you would have seen that “strong”, as least as it was displayed in my behavior, was really a substitute for “I’m-stubborn-and-if-I-don’t-maintain-control-I’ll-really-fall-apart”. I was cranky, irritable, nit-picky, impatient, and very needy.

That neediness - really an insecurity - has only been magnified over the last few weeks. After all, my husband isn’t here to remind me that he loves me, to affirm me or encourage me, to challenge or motivate me, or to lead me in our life and marriage. I can take a deep breath, put on a strong face, and walk around as though I’m unfazed, but I’m not. I’m quite fazed, thank you very much.

But here’s what I’ve realized: I can’t rely on my husband to fulfill my needs. That’s certainly true while he’s gone, but it’s also true when he’s here with me. This may be old hat to some of my readers, but to me this realization is pretty significant. My husband has neither the responsibility nor the ability to fulfill all of those needs for me. That is God's job and His alone.  He's most equipped after all, He knows my needs better than I do!  Phillippians 4:19 says

And my God will supply all your needs according to His riches in Christ Jesus.

Isn’t our Lord supposed to be everything we need? Sometimes He provides for our needs through other people and relationships. So what do we do when those people are absent? I have to admit, I struggle understanding how to make this true in my life on a daily basis. Let’s try to take this beyond coffee…what can we do to bring our needs before the Lord and allow Him to fulfill them? How does He become our everything in a real, tangible way?

I don’t have an answer yet, but I’ll keep working on it.