God can be our everything...right?

It’s been about 2 weeks since my last post. I’ve been enjoying time visiting with my parents who spent 10 days on-island with me. It was so nice to see them and show them a bit of the Hawaiian life. And Tuesday night I finally heard from my husband, after receiving no contact from him for almost 4 weeks. That was tough, and as I thought about why it was so hard, I made an interesting discovery.
 If you’ve known my very long, you may know that I have often prided myself on being strong, independent, assertive, and decidedly not-needy. In many situations, these qualities (obviously not the pride part), have been very helpful. But in the midst of other circumstances they have proven to be a mask for other emotions or qualities and, at times, even detrimental to my life.

For example, in my relationship with my husband I’ve consistently been emotionally “strong” and prior to his deployment he mentioned several times that he was grateful I was such a “strong woman”; he knew he wouldn’t have to worry that I would totally fall apart. But if you could have seen me in those weeks before you left, you would have seen that “strong”, as least as it was displayed in my behavior, was really a substitute for “I’m-stubborn-and-if-I-don’t-maintain-control-I’ll-really-fall-apart”. I was cranky, irritable, nit-picky, impatient, and very needy.

That neediness - really an insecurity - has only been magnified over the last few weeks. After all, my husband isn’t here to remind me that he loves me, to affirm me or encourage me, to challenge or motivate me, or to lead me in our life and marriage. I can take a deep breath, put on a strong face, and walk around as though I’m unfazed, but I’m not. I’m quite fazed, thank you very much.

But here’s what I’ve realized: I can’t rely on my husband to fulfill my needs. That’s certainly true while he’s gone, but it’s also true when he’s here with me. This may be old hat to some of my readers, but to me this realization is pretty significant. My husband has neither the responsibility nor the ability to fulfill all of those needs for me. That is God's job and His alone.  He's most equipped after all, He knows my needs better than I do!  Phillippians 4:19 says

And my God will supply all your needs according to His riches in Christ Jesus.

Isn’t our Lord supposed to be everything we need? Sometimes He provides for our needs through other people and relationships. So what do we do when those people are absent? I have to admit, I struggle understanding how to make this true in my life on a daily basis. Let’s try to take this beyond coffee…what can we do to bring our needs before the Lord and allow Him to fulfill them? How does He become our everything in a real, tangible way?

I don’t have an answer yet, but I’ll keep working on it.

Bless the Lord...always

My husband and I have a friend who is a very talented singer and songwriter.  He sang in our wedding, sharing two songs, one of which, Bless the Lord, is one of my favorite worship songs.  The text for this beautiful song is drawn from another beautiful, rich text: Psalm 103.

I like this Psalm for two reasons. First, it reminds me that we have innumerable, incredible reasons to praise the Lord. I've often found myself coming before the Lord a bit tongue-tied, resorting to such eloquent words as "Thank you Lord for this day, and for this food, and thanks for saving me, and thanks, um, for my family. And, uh, please let me get good sleep tonight. Amen." Not that there's anything wrong with thanking the Lord for those things, but David shows us in Psalm 103 that the reasons we have for praising the Lord are anything but ordinary. They're incredible. Here's just a few:

[He] . . . pardons all your iniquities . . . heals all your diseases (vs. 3)
. . . redeems your life from the pit (vs. 4)
. . . is slow to anger and abounding in lovingkindness (vs. 8)

Secondly, this psalm reminds me that we have reason to praise the Lord always. He does not determine His actions according to our behavior (vs. 10) for if He did, He would change as much as we do. He is constant, unchanging, and that means that the above qualities which make him so worthy of our praise apply always.

Let’s take this beyond coffee. How can this understanding affect the way you come to the Lord? As for me, I need this reminder, perhaps on a daily basis, that no matter what circumstances I may be facing, no matter what my emotional or spiritual state, God is worthy of praise. I need to, as David did, “forget not His benefits”. How incredibly heartbreaking to forget how blessed we are! There is no reason to be tongue-tied if I know who the Lord is.  Forget not His benefits, friends. Remember them. Daily.